Rookie Diners.

I was having a discussion with two coworkers this day and one of the gals (a bartender who is busy with college) posed an interesting thought...

'We're responsible for bussing our own tables. Could this be why we have the occasional camper? Seems to me that when you leave plates on a table and keep it disheveled, they're always in a hurry to leave. The moment I clean off everything, no one wants to leave my section!'

Well said April! This may be worth investigating. I'll do a study with my tables. With 30 years of people interaction and cold reads and the like, I have a few observations of my own...

1.Why do some of you INSIST on a side of ranch for everything from french fries to onion rings? Only in Texas have I noticed this, and not a one of you is skinny! Pshaw!

2.Whenever I serve a regular Coke, you, the customer will sip ever so slowly. When I serve a Diet Coke, I am refilling your glass up ten times! WTF is up with that?

3.Why do wait until the last minute to ask for separate checks when you know you ordered the most expensive item on the menu?

4.Why do some of you think it's okay to place your gum under the table or inside a sugar packet? Come to think of it, these are the same people who'll order a Diet Coke and ask for ranch with their order! Usually a Texas Tech alumnus...

5.Why do you assume if you ask for something other than what your order comes with and then get mad when you discover that it costs extra? If I tell you that beforehand you'll accuse me of saying you're a tightwad. If I say nothing, you'll pay the fixed income card. Do me a favor: Stay home or just fly through Mickey D's! You'll love it and I'll definitely love it!

and...

5A. If you've never dined out before, act as if you have. Don't ask me if something comes with bread, or how much our well drinks cost. This is 2008, not 1985! In some cases Stacy's mom DID NOT have it going on!!!

More dining notes as they are presented to me...

Over and out in Big D

Mr Will