An Early Holiday List.

What you are about to sink your journalistic teeth into shall be needless fodder for that which is about to enter into your eyes, nose, mouth, and cerebral membrane. With exactly 68 days remaining in the current calendar year, rest assured that the following will start to become more and more probable:

1.That annoying sound of bells ringing reminding you of Christmas. For the same result pull out your car keys and shake them around, the bigger the chain the better the result!

2.For the next two weeks you'll be hearing an XBOX360 ad interspersed between political slams of the usual 30-60 second soundbite of 'Bad on Taxes-Good For Texas' bullshit.

3.Knowing that someone in your family whom you might not stand will be in your house for the holidays.

4.Accepting of the fact that even though the holidays are one big commercial farce it does wonders for the economy, especially for those who line up at Walmart at 3am the day after Turkey Day for that 300 dollar laptop!

5.Hearing the word 'Ho' more times than a nymphomaniac with amnesia walking up and down Harry Hines Blvd (gratuitous swipe at a famous Dallas roadway, also referred to as Lady Star Line).

6.Budweiser commercials featuring Clydesdales riding to a nicely lit house even though the commercial is to remind you to drink heavily after you have designated a driver or buggy leader.

7.More Santa sightings than the return of Elvis from the grave. If you reside in Las Vegas, you can enjoy both!

8.Party invites, letters from the North Pole, and a gaining 7-9 pounds because Mom insists on cooking!

9.A two week period where you'll be constantly napping from all the Turkey sandwiches you have taken to work and the most important reminder of what's to come as 2006 becomes 2007:

10.January mail, December credit card maxouts, and stress until March Madness. After those two weeks you're restless paying Uncle Sam for taxes owed. What a cycle!

Happy Holidays! I hope you have your costume picked out for next Tuesday...

Over and out in Big D

Mr Will